Links I’d share in private #2

Another week, another sharing moment about all the links and tools I have seen and read during this last week. All the things that I consider that are worth sharing with you folks! This week, I focused a lot of my readings on the impact of AI on us; the erosion of LGBTQ+ rights disguised as the protection of Women’s rights; the monoculturization of the Internet culture; and injustices.

Enjoy these links & the reading!

  • A scary read about our eroding rights in North America, and the attacks on LGBTQ+ rights, disguised as a Woman’s Rights: this article, while focusing on American’s politics, is worth a read because we are seeing the same tactics across our northern borders here in Canada. “State Republicans across the nation are pushing bills commonly titled the “Women’s Bill of Rights.” You’ll be shocked to learn that contrary to the title, however, Republicans haven’t suddenly started to care about women’s equality or agency—they just want to use that banner as a cover for stripping away our rights as LGBTQ+ individuals”. I’ll always be an ally for LGBTQ+ & trans rights, as I consider trans women are women, trans men are men, and there is no discussing human rights! But the scary rise of conservative & ultra-religious movements in our political lives is to be watched and counter-act as much as we can. It’s time we become aggressive in the protection of our LGBTQ+ & Trans rights! Do not let them use Women’s rights to demolish trans’ & queer rights!
  • Useful link – “Blocking AI bots on your online content“: if you’re a content creator like me, and just don’t want AI businesses to profit over your online content on your website, there are ways to block those AI from scanning your websites. This article explains how to do it. If you aren’t a tech person, poke me in DM, I will help you set this up!
  • And to continue on the subject of AI – “AI isn’t useless. But is it worth it?” My current opinion over the rise of AI in our society (and in tech) is pretty much summed up in this article by Molly White. I share her skepticism and ethical concerns over the over-use of AI in our daily lives right now, as well as the damages it is wreaking among professional circles (like software/web developers), and the security vulnerabilities found in those LLM models and tools. A step back would be needed for us to really reflect on how we want to use this technology moving forward, but I seriously doubt it will happen, as the business people are having such a “hard on” making money with AI right now, and damn the consequences. “Though AI companies are prone to making overblown promises that the tools will shortly be able to replace your content writing team or generate feature-length films or develop a video game from scratch, the reality is far more mundane: they are handy in the same way that it might occasionally be useful to delegate some tasks to an inexperienced and sometimes sloppy intern. Still, I do think acknowledging the usefulness is important, while also holding companies to account for their false or impossible promises, abusive labor practices, and myriad other issues. When critics dismiss AI outright, I think in many cases this weakens the criticism, as readers who have used and benefited from AI tools think “wait, that’s not been my experience at all”.”
  • The Internet culture and online communities is getting bland, and I hate it! We’ve seen the rise of online communities, rich with dialogue and sharing diverse life’s experiences, in the end of 2000s/early 2010s, and I was all for it! It was so refreshing to finally find your tribe and peers across the planet, and not feel alone! Since the mid-2010s, the rise in popularity of social media has pretty much killed off the few nested circles and communities that were online, eliminating the diversification of voices. The rise of aggressive comments by trolls also ended up killing the desire to share lives that people had in these communities, preventing people from grouping together and sharing things in common. And the rise of those social medias gated the communities into their platforms and communities’ guidelines, restricting more and more their diverse voices online and killing off these vibrant communities as time passes by. This article uses the metaphor of ecology, and cultivating a vibrant a diverse forest, to talk how the Internet is becoming a bland monoculture finding ways for us to spend money on trying to connect with other human beings in different ways, be it as gatekeeping communities by making us pay (à la X/Twitter), or by making us pay for trying to belong to a community that we so want to belong to. “The internet’s 2010s, its boom years, may have been the first glorious harvest that exhausted a one-time bonanza of diversity. The complex web of human interactions that thrived on the internet’s initial technological diversity is now corralled into globe-spanning data-extraction engines making huge fortunes for a tiny few. Our online spaces are not ecosystems, though tech firms love that word. They’re plantations; highly concentrated and controlled environments, closer kin to the industrial farming of the cattle feedlot or battery chicken farms that madden the creatures trapped within.”
  • “Why I swear by “My year of No” “: this blog article really called out to me, because I had several phases in my recent past when I said no to everything: no to going out, no to seeing people, no to overbooking my schedule of activities or tasks, no to family’s obligations… Saying no, and just staying home doing nothing, having no obligation… It was such a liberation! A freeing sense of freedom and control over my life, where I felt good about myself. And when I realized in therapy that my old ways of overbooking my calendar was a way of running away from my traumas and past, the moment I started refusing and saying no… It gave me the space to work on my issues, start accepting myself as I am, and be able to enjoy life again, but at a much slower pace. I highly recommend saying no more, it’s worthwhile!
  • Ohhhhhhhh How I miss George Carlin! I would have loved his views on our current society’s problems… My punk rage against society’s injustices is feeling validated by this quote.
    Quote: “A person of good intelligence and sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality – and it’s not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing – it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street.”

Links I’d share in private

Been a while I haven’t shared random links and readings I had through my Internet’s binging. Enjoy these useful links and content!

  • Useful Link: https://www.ilovepdf.com : Useful website to edit, manipulate and transform PDF files all for free. Just make sure you aren’t manipulating private informations in your PDF before using this site, as I can’t guarantee how the files are kept and processed on their servers…
  • Quote: “Careers don’t exist. Don’t worry about the narrative of your “career.” Pursue your interests. Take care of your needs. Adapt to new circumstances. And be willing to reinvent yourself at any age.” (source of quote: Calvin Rosser – 40 Unconventional Pieces of Advice That Most People Ignore)
    I’ve learned this lesson the hard way last fall. Careers can be scrapped in a heartbeat: better be adaptable and follow your guts when it’s time to move on and change career. That’s what I did, and so far, my mental health is SO MUCH BETTER! Anxiety has diminished by A LOT, and I don’t feel like an incompetent baboon improvising her ways through her career…I haven’t felt the imposter syndrome in months now, which is refreshing!
  • Interesting Reading: Google is killing Retro Dodo – an excellent story explaining why we should start using alternative search engines like DuckDuckGo when we search for content online: Google is now entering their Monetization era and promoting only paying customers’ websites and links instead of independent websites owners and content creators.
    Now is the time to start paying all the independent creators that you like, as their survival depends on us now. Encourage indie content creators by subscribing to their Patreon; follow their RSS feed through Feedly or any RSS app reader; subscribe to their social medias accounts. Fuck the monopolistic approach of Google (and the Big Techs)!
    Which reminds me: I’ll have to ressucitate the Blogroll section on my own homepage, so I can recommend my favorite bloggers and content creators to follow online!
  • Thoughtful Reading: The state of Culture 2024 – another depressing thought piece, but sooooooo worth the read! Our culture and art, and yes even the Entertainment industry, are being drained through the Dopamine cartel, making us addicted to short attention span’s medias and content consumption. It’s time to start breaking from our addictions, and take small steps into breaking up with our tech devices. Go visit an art exhibit, go see a music show, go walk outside.

Recap 2023: F*ck this year LOL

Well, it went downhill after my last post! LOL

It started ok, and the first 6 months was looking good: I almost weaned off from my medication, and was on a path of good mental health.

The last 6 months of 2023 have been pretty chaotic and stressful, and while I did end up getting back on my feet after a pretty bad October/November… it was hurtful and depressing. I ended up having panic attacks many times over my future, wondering what would happen, when will I get back on my feet, and it fed my depressive state pretty bad. While I was down, and anxiety was through the roof, I was still able to imagine a better outcome in my future, not despairing too much over the hardship I was going through… At least one positive aspect came out of all of this: I guess therapy has finally shown its payoffs, making me able to visualize positivity throughout the shit storm I was going through. Knowing it could only get better was really all the motivation I needed to get through it all. For now, I managed to survive, and I am crossing my fingers the new path I have taken in December will produce satisfying results in 2024.

On another note, I am looking into 2024 very carefully, having some resolutions in mind for 2024:

  • start writing more here, and see how I can monetize it a little. I miss blogging, and I want to see if I can ever live off from freelance mode.
  • study again. I have a list of online classes I want to take, and since I really want to do more cybersecurity stuff in the future, I need to up my study time a little.
  • exercise on my bike again. I’ve bought a NordikTrack a year and half ago. Lack of motivation and depression didn’t help with my mood, and I kinda feel guilty of spending a lot of money for a barely used device. Having a huge video monitor that can screen bike rides throughout the world is fun, and I really loved the experience. I should do it more often, even if exercising is not of a big help on my general mood.
  • start my freelance career again after almost 10 years of hiatus.

Let’s get back at the end of 2024 and see how good I followed through my resolutions…!


On my mental and emotional state so far in 2023…

Realizing, after 6 months, how better I feel overall, on the mental and emotional side of myself:

  • my anxiety is wayyyyyy the fuck down, to a point I have cut my medication by 2/3;
  • I’m happier overall. Caught myself saying “I feel happy” for the first time in YEARS, ostiiiiiii 😂;
  • lose less my shit over mundane stuff;
  • am overall NOT in a dark mood over my work load/personal stuffs, and even if I can get unmotivated from time to time, I am less in a “Flip tables and burn everything” mode over all of my responsibilities;
  • I feel I am more stable and present when dealing with my own teenager;
  • I feel more present for my entourage and close ones;
  • I just feel… content. At peace, not always in a mood to rush towards some random, temporary shots of serotonin and dopamine;
  • I do whatever I want whenever I want, no more “schedule”…
  • I feel better over myself: I don’t feel guilt over not being enough of this or that…

It’s crazy how being alone, with more therapy, can do to someone in just 6 months!!!


2022: the year of a 180° surprise turn in Life

2022… what. a. Fucking. Year! If there is one lesson I relearned hard, it’s this:

Actions speaks louder than words.

And it hurts. It hurts like Hell when you are at the receiving end of hurtful actions, when you have a hard time processing what is happening in the moment, and have to retreat for your emotional and mental safety. Sometimes, retreating to your safe space is the best thing to do for yourself, to regain comprehension over a situation, and decide what to do next.

I am very lucky to be well surrounded, and in a good mental state, to have managed to pass through it, even if I have lost in the process someone I thought was going to stay throughout my life for a damn fucking while. 2022 may end as vastly different as how I started it, but at least I end it proud at myself for standing up for my values and truth.

Quite happy to start 2023 in a peaceful mindset, ready to tackle new challenges. Just…no more emotional ones, ok, Life? Please? 😝

2020 is a fucking bitch

Bordel, même pas 48h que j’ai apprise la nouvelle, et ça ne passe juste pas.

Coeur lourd et triste ce matin.

Une grande amie est disparue. Une femme qui était toujours présente pour nous écouter, nous remonter le moral avec des gif hilarant ou des paroles rassurantes. Une mère “Indigne” qui comprenait bien mes rages et crises de parentalité, et qui les partageait bien avec moi autour d’une bonne bouteille de vino. Une femme qui en avait beaucoup à raconter sur la vie, quand tu prenais le temps de l’écouter. Elle était peut-être introvertie, et parlait peu dans les gros événements, mais son oeil observait toujours toute avec une précision de feu.

Et s’il y a une chose qu’elle voudrait qu’on se souvienne d’elle, c’est qu’elle a bien transmise ses valeurs de féminisme, d’ouverture d’esprit, et de joie de vivre même en temps de noirceur à son enfant, et à ses amis.

Criss que ça fait mal, et tu vas me manquer, chère amie.


Dans les prochaines semaines/mois/année, vous allez me trouvez gossante, mais je vais CLAIREMENT faire mon rôle de Maman-Tigre-Hélicoptère et poker souvent mon entourage pour m’assurer que vous allez “correct”, au minimum. 2020 est une sale année de marde, et ça ne s’enligne pas pour se terminer facilement non plus.

Et I get it: des fois, c’est + facile de parler à des étrangers que des amis. Faque gardes ce numéro en tête quand tu es vraiment dans un état d’esprit très noir. Ils vont t’écouter avec patience, compréhension, et douceur.

Suicide Action Montreal
Appelez sans frais, partout au Québec, le 1 866 APPELLE (277-3553)

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Update – Fuck 2020 #3

J’ai besoin de vacances. Loin de toute, là. Perdue dans un chalet sur le bord d’un lac, sans contact internet itou.

Toute m’écoeure, m’enrage, et m’épuise. Je suis tannée de voir mes proches l’avoir rough sur pleins de pans de leurs vies (perso, professionnelles, parentales, financière, etc). Je suis tannée d’être pressée par les impératifs de la surproductivité sur TOUS les pans de nos vies, alors que tout mon monde va mal. Je suis tannée d’être un vide émotionel qui flatline tellement je me sens overwhelmed par l’état du monde, et tous les impacts sur moi, mon enfant, mon entourage, mes amis, mes proches…et que, dans mon cas, je reçois juste de l’aide du type “Mindfulness: penses à comment tu te sens en regardant ton jardin intérieur/espace de méditation mental, ne penses pas aux autres, juste toi là, n’écoute pu ta voix du passé, penses au moment présent, là…”

Fuck ton moment présent, sérieux là! Ton moment présent dans le monde qu’on a est à chier, sérieux 🤬

#LesGens m’écoeurent beaucoup, l’empathie et la patience prennent le bord, c’est assez dégueulasse comment ça se pogne sur tout et sur rien partout, tant online que offline…

2020, tu es vraiment pas une année facile pour personne


Update – Fuck 2020 #2

Ce soir, je pleure un peu. Un deuil, en quelque sorte.

En février dernier, j’ai appliqué, un peu sur un coup de tête (mais après des années de réflexion!), au SRAM. Ça faisait des années que je pensais me réorienter dans un domaine en relation avec l’aide aux autres, l’impact social, et l’intervention. Même durant mes études en multimédia au début des années 2000, je zieutais souvent les programmes en travail social et en psychologie, et je me demandais à chaque session “Et si je changeais…?”

Zoom vers 2020, et finalement je me lance: je m’inscris au DEC en travail social au Cégep du Vieux-Montréal. SURPRISE: je suis acceptée! Un peu en choc (mes notes post-secondaires ne sont pas trop reluisantes, car mettons que pour plusieurs raisons, au travers des années, j’ai toujours eu de la difficulté à bien performer durant mes études, et je n’ai donc jamais eu un bulletin…fort, mettons), j’ai eu la confirmation d’acceptation finale poru l’automne 2020. Retour à l’école prévue fin août 2020.

Mais…bien sûr, 2020 ayant commencé de façon catastrophique (mettons que les frasques politique de nos voisins du Sud, + tous les problèmes climatiques observés en début d’année ont bien lancé le bal d’une année qui s’annonçait merdique), je me retrouve donc, comme la planète toute entière, affectée par l’arrivée soudaine du coronavirus dans nos vies en Mars. Mettons que tout fut mit en veilleuse, et j’ai été parmi les chanceux du monde du travail à avoir encore une job, à ce moment-là!

Les semaines ont passées, et toutes les péripéties de ces mois en “arrêt” social et physique m’ont fait réfléchir…beaucoup. Sur comment je devais envisager mon futur immédiat, mais aussi celui de mes proches, de mon enfant, de mes amis…

Est-ce que je peux me permettre de sacrer là une carrière en tech bien entamée? (Veux veut pas, ça fait 20 ans que je code des sites web de façon professionnelle: ce n’est pas rien!)

Est-ce que je peux me permettre de vivre sur un salaire réduit pendant quelques années? Dans l’économie full instable qu’est maintenant la nôtre? Une économie Post-Covid19, qui aura encore d’autres hauts et bas dans les prochains mois? Alors que les jobs en tech sont pas mal “garanti” pour un long bout?

En tant que mère monoparentale, est-ce que je peux me permettre un salaire sous la moyenne nationale, alors que j’ai un enfant à faire vivre sur mon salaire? (Ne me partez pas sur le sujet du salaire des femmes inférieures à celui des hommes…)

Avec la flambée rapide des loyers montréalais, comment puis-je arriver à habiter dans une maison décente si la majorité de mon salaire sert à payer le loyer? COmment je fais pour payer le reste des comptes, qui sont quand même essentiels malgré tous les “gourous” de la finance personnelle peuvent cracher en ondes? (Ne me partez pas non plus sur le sujet des osti de caves qui parlent de finance personnelle alors qu’ils sont complètement déconnecté de la réalité…)

Et s’il y a une 2e vague du coronavirus: je vais être pognée à garder mon enfant à la maison encore, à devoir combiner le travail + l’éducation à la maison. Aurais-je vraiment le temps de faire mes cours à moi?

Ça fait des mois maintenant que je tourne en boucle cette réflexion sur mon futur professionnel, mon retour à l’école, et de ce que je veux finalement faire dans la vie. Quand je commence à me mettre dans le “mindset” du retour à l’école et de me mettre le nez dans mes cours en travail social, j’arrête pas d’être en colère, car je vois ensuite d’autres cours qui m’intéressent (allo les cours d’histoire, tsé!), ou d’autres cours qui seraient pourtant + nécessaire à mon domaine professionel actuel (Allo les cours de gestion de projets, ou en cybersécurité!), et je pogne les nerfs parce que je peux pas toute faire en même temps. J’arrive pas à garder un focus de + d’une semaine sur un sujet, alors je commence à me demander comment je vais réussir à étudier dans un DEC pendant 3 ans…

Bref, ce soir, je suis triste, parce que je vois bien que je ne retournerai pas à l’école. Du moins, pas pĥysiquement, pas à temps plein. Et pas pour une réorientation de carrière, for sur. Et pas maintenant…

Je commence à douter que je retournerai un jour sur les bancs d’école :'(


Update – Fuck 2020 #1

It’s been…a damn fucking while! I know, I know: I always promise to write more, but then time passes, and I just forget to write any stuff here (stupid social medias for taking all my attention away 😛 )

Anyway, as promised, some updates on me:

  • started a new job, and FINALLY got my nose into React and full-time Javascript development mode. I still hate how the web has become fully Javascript-y (more thoughts on this in another post), but I must admit that it DOES help create web apps in an interesting AND QUICK way.
  • spent pretty much all my confinement time at my partner’s house. It was A WHILE I haven’t shared my daily living time with someone else, and I must admit that…I MISSED IT big times <3
    While the cohabitation was extraordinary AMAZING and easy-going, it can presents some challenges when merging parental lifestyles into the mix. Still, I would do it again, 11/10
  • the pandemic DID made me reflect A LOT on my future, and what I want to do/desire in every spheres of my live. I still have a feeling of “What do I want to do when I’ll become an adult”, but I feel like if I am “mature” enough to have a clear path in my head, and stop focusing on others’ judgment on my life.
  • I am coming out of this pandemic hating more the people and our society, and wanting more “living in a cabin in the forest”. Fuck did people exasperated me this year! WEAR YOUR DAMN MASK, people!

Now need more wine, will probably write more later… #AllBetsAreOn #WhenWillIWriteAgain?