Sometimes, I feel like an old broken object, like this piano in the picture.
Broken by empty promises from my past.
Empty because of those other broken people who lied to me.
I will just let my nature surface.
Give me back my verneer, repair my broken pieces.
And in the end, I’ll sing the most beautiful symphony you will ever hear!
Text by me
Picture from Fragments http://bit.ly/2iiabgH
So many books to read, so little time! *sobbing loudly*
I stumbled on another good post from Brain Pickings, this time talking about the “Greatest books of all time” (their title, not mine), and while I did read some of them (probably 15-20), I added tons more on my To Read list (fuck, it’s getting HUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEEE). I’m sharing the link with you, so I won’t be alone crying about the lack of time to read so. Many. Great. Books!
And another interesting article from Christian Heilmann, on the current bad status of the Web Development work field, where most experienced developers are exhausted, tired to fight against a philosophy of “shipping fast, deliver now, quality later”, and also…because of tech privilege!
No, I am not against innovating and I’d be the last to pretend that the web stack is perfect. But I am also tired of seeing talented developers being burned out. We have a 1–2 year average retention span of developers in companies. This is not sustainable. This is not how we can have a career. This is not how we can become more diverse. The ugly brogrammer is only in part our own biases and faults. It is a result of an unhealthy work environment based on “release fast and break things”. We broke a lot. Let’s try to fix it by fixing what people use, not telling them what they should be using.
from Christian Heilmann http://bit.ly/2i4bU9N
More random thoughts on parenthood, noted from the last years:
No, it’s not because I have a kid that I do love ALL kids. I actually still don’t like kids, and I love only a few. But it does not stop me from feeling sympathy with all the other parents dealing with the shit their(s) kid(s) made them live through.
And yes, I DO love my daughter. You do not have any idea how far I can go to protect that kid, cherish, educate and love her. Do not even dare challenge this.
The next one who dare judge me on my choice NOT to have a second child will be slapped. Or rudely insulted in front of EVERYBODY. My body, my choice. Also, I had the operation, my fallopian tubes are ligated. So…I’m buying a damn lottery ticket if I ever become pregnant again. A SHITLOAD of lottery tickets. And YYYESSS, sex with no stress of being pregnant!!! How dare I think of fun and kinky sex, and not reproducing and being a fucking mother of 8?
Yes, I’m a mother. And I think of Sex. All. The. Fucking. TIME!!
No, I won’t be there to ALL activities my daughter will do. No, I won’t push her to do 4 after-school activities and sports. She’ll decide whatever the fuck she wants and likes. I will probably just pay and go to her finals and shows. But I won’t be supervising her every moves and actions, I won’t get up at 4am for her hockey practice. I’m there to help her discover more about herself, her tastes, her interests, again to educate her in Life. Not to be her slave.
Not because I have a kid that I want MORE kids. Nope. I am very happy with my decision to only have one kid, and seriously don’t want to pass through all the post-partum depression and stress, the social pressure to be a supermom, and the judgement from the entourage for every fucking decision I take. I’m an adult: let me decide ALONE, for fuck sake!
A year of the same Disney song will make you go crazy (aka the damn Frozen song)
The Trump election; the Migrants situation in Europe and the Middle East; Black Lives Matter…
Last year was quite active in the rise of a very scary xenophobic public speech, maintained by uninhibited people who are now grabbing many powerful seats in our public institutions and governments all around the world. And I must admit, it scares me. As someone who studied history for many years, I can only see patterns that could cause the same mess humanity was at the beginning of the 20th century. Some of my close friends are telling me I am an alarmist, but still… I worry a lot when empathy, social values and community disappear in the public sphere, to make way to more individualistic purposes, shrouded by racism, sexism and savage capitalism. Yes, put me in the Carebear and “Socialist” camp, but I was raised to believe and want to live in a multicultural social-democratic country. I hate all the hate we now find more and more in the medias and public.
“A modern nation state cannot be built on an ontological notion of who belongs and who does not, whether it’s outright ethnic or pseudo-cultural. It needs to build on the notion of the nation as a community — a community including those who were born here, those who came to stay and those who will stay for a while and then return to their homes. The rights and duties of the members of this community should be defined by their achievements, and by the rule of law — not by whether they eat schnitzel or wear a head scarf.”
For the last couple of years (and probably because it’s part of what most of the mid-thirties people surrounding me are going through crisis), I had a lot of time – and occasions! – to reflect upon Love and relationships in our modern time. Mostly around the questions of why is it a sin to admit to our failures in our relations, why people shun us when we separate (or have a rough period), and why we should automatically hurt and become tragicomic drama queens ( to our friends and entourage) when we go through a separation or divorce (and for once, I prefer the Gwyneth Paltrow’s way, conscious uncoupling :P ).
Anyway, thought I could share with you one of the articles that generated tons of introspection, personal writing and discussions.
“To perform gender identity and gender struggles is to perform the institutional and cultural core dilemmas and ambivalence of modernity.”
from Brain Pickings: http://bit.ly/1Pq75Qp