A lot happened in my life in such a short time. My brain was almost melting down and my heart was so hurted…
I broke up with my boyfriend. I won’t enter into details, but I wasn’t happy with him anymore, and we realized that right now, we were better off alone and each on his/her side, than sticking together and starting to get bitter. We prefer to finish it right now, as we can still be friends, than later, when we’ll be so angry after each other that it wouldn’t be possible to see the other one.
Of course, ending a relationship of 8 1/2 years is very fucking hard. Note to you people: it’s fucking hard! It’s not an easy decision, not an easy choice to do. It takes time to think, heal, and restart anew. But I’ve been dumped before (by the same man!) and I survived and even went back with him a year later…Of course, now, I dumped him, so I now know how he felt when he took the decision 5 years ago to break it up. And he now knows how I felt when he broke up…And I don’t think that we will be back together neither (yeah, I know, I’ve said that before, but it’s real this time. But some friends of ours are taking bets right now as to how long it will stand…bitches!)
I’m ok right now, but last week was like the worst of my life. Been sick as hell, cried a lot, been anxious about his reactions, missed two exams and didn’t study and do my assignments. We talked tonight, one week after my decision. It was really relaxed and cool, I think we will survive all this shit and manage to live on and relearn to appreciate each other as good friends. Of course, we will take a bit of time right now, not spending time together (which is hard because I really do love to talk with him, when he’s not an obnoxious little boy 😛 ).? I feel like I may have lost? a boyfriend, but I may have gain a brother or a good friend in the process. Time will tell.
I’m really lucky to have suck close friends that were there for me this week and the weeks before. If it weren’t from you guys, I think I wouldn’t have make it. Seriously. To you Daniel, Babou and Alex, a really big thank you. Love you guys.