I hate studying alone. It is the answer to my ever pondering question of why I can’t seem to study a lot, or good. I really hate being alone, having no one to reflect upon what I am studying or just chilling for a pause between my homeworks.
Also, sometimes, I do wonder why I’m studying. Guess it is time that spring arrives, because I am feeling moody and bitchy at the end of march. I mean, it has been my long time dream to one day study at university…and now that I am finally there, after a lot of troubles arriving at this level in my life, I just don’t feel it anymore. The passion, the will to study. I guess that CEGEP did change my view of education and life in general. All the people and friends I have seen disappointed by university, the classes, the social aspects, etc… and I too don’t like the points I have learned after 1 year at Concordia:
– social life: is it me or the people are just snobish or not the social type? I mean, I tried to make some friends in my classes, but people just don’t seem to speak a lot. Or I’ve finally lost the touch. I am a “very social” person, I crave the contact with other people, I like to talk, chat, discuss, exchange ideas and go out with my friends…Everyone of them will tell the world that I am a “leader” in the group, as I always plan some party, some night out, some chilling with my gang,… Guess I should try to join a group or something next year.
Also, the fact that many of my friends around me are not studying isn’t helping a lot. I am always missing something because I have to study. Damn, that’s something I really hate!
– academic: I hate my classes right now, because it is boring, not challenging my intellect and I hate going to a class where the teacher just recite or read from the book I had bought for the lectures of the class. I mean, I do make the effort of going to class, just so the teacher recites or read from the freaking book I’ve just read before the class! I don’t see the point in going to class this semester, and jesus did I miss a lot of classes! The only class right now motivating me enough to go is my studies in achitecture class, the friday morning. It is pretty cool!
enough bitching for right now. I am so disappointed from my first year a university. Many tell me that it gets better in 2nd and 3rd years, and I really hope so. Because if not, well, I’ll find a freaking full time job to pay for my loans I have accumulate during CEGEP and pay them.