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Ohhhhh, I just don’t want to concentrate on my homeworks right now. It’s sunny outside, and I have a craving of relearning my web programming stuff (javascript, xhtml, xml-dom, ajax, php, actionscript 2, …) and doing my webdesign.

For now, I’m leaving the sketches I have done for the my website a year ago, people can give their advice. It’s always appreciated!

Design 3

Design 4

Design 5

Design 6

Design 8

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Webdesign change

  

I was tired of my last webdesign. I needed the changes, and there was a lot of stuff I had to clean off my page, so I just changed the layout and general design. For now, this will be my design, until I have some time to do the cool webdesign idea I had during my vacations!

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Studying is a bitch!

  

I hate studying alone. It is the answer to my ever pondering question of why I can’t seem to study a lot, or good. I really hate being alone, having no one to reflect upon what I am studying or just chilling for a pause between my homeworks.

Also, sometimes, I do wonder why I’m studying. Guess it is time that spring arrives, because I am feeling moody and bitchy at the end of march. I mean, it has been my long time dream to one day study at university…and now that I am finally there, after a lot of troubles arriving at this level in my life, I just don’t feel it anymore. The passion, the will to study. I guess that CEGEP did change my view of education and life in general. All the people and friends I have seen disappointed by university, the classes, the social aspects, etc… and I too don’t like the points I have learned after 1 year at Concordia:

– social life: is it me or the people are just snobish or not the social type? I mean, I tried to make some friends in my classes, but people just don’t seem to speak a lot. Or I’ve finally lost the touch. I am a “very social” person, I crave the contact with other people, I like to talk, chat, discuss, exchange ideas and go out with my friends…Everyone of them will tell the world that I am a “leader” in the group, as I always plan some party, some night out, some chilling with my gang,… Guess I should try to join a group or something next year.

Also, the fact that many of my friends around me are not studying isn’t helping a lot. I am always missing something because I have to study. Damn, that’s something I really hate!
– academic: I hate my classes right now, because it is boring, not challenging my intellect and I hate going to a class where the teacher just recite or read from the book I had bought for the lectures of the class. I mean, I do make the effort of going to class, just so the teacher recites or read from the freaking book I’ve just read before the class! I don’t see the point in going to class this semester, and jesus did I miss a lot of classes! The only class right now motivating me enough to go is my studies in achitecture class, the friday morning. It is pretty cool!

enough bitching for right now. I am so disappointed from my first year a university. Many tell me that it gets better in 2nd and 3rd years, and I really hope so. Because if not, well, I’ll find a freaking full time job to pay for my loans I have accumulate during CEGEP and pay them.

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Summer school!

  

I am crazy, I know, but I just can’t wait to have my classes this summer! I’ll list it here…

1) RELZ 216: encountering world religions

have no clue how it will be, they only thing why I take it is because it is online.

2) HIST 205: Canada after 1877

have no choice to take 2 classes of north-america history, and this is one of them offered this summer….sigh…I so don’t want to! Canada has the most boring history ever.
3) HIST 262: History of China

because it is online, but also because i’m slightly interest in it.

4) FFAR 398S: Special topics in fine arts: fundamentals of painting & drawing

really, I can’t wait to get back on my art side of myself :D

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Plan of the week-end:

-study (will I really?)

-friday night, go see V for Vendetta…again! (My God, do I love this character!)

-saturday night, seeing my boyfriend.

-sunday night…well, I realllllllly don’t know yet. was suppose to see my boyfriend but then again, he has a meeting for his political stuff…again…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

maybe I should go walk during the week-end…would be good for me.

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no more job…

  

makes Debbie more happy! weeeeeeeeeeeee!

I finally have more free time for me. For a while, I won’t work, and only concentrate on school, which should boost a little my grades. Finally!

Yeah, I’ve lost my job as a webmaster at that pace in Plateau-Mont-Royal…they are ‘restructuring’ the compagny, and since I was the second webmaster of the place…they didn’t see it fit to keep me. Oh well, i’ll find something for summer as a job, and then i’ll stop for next year and only live on loans and bursaries. Should give me a better grade.

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Ye full of Irish Drink!

  

Bleh. Been a good night last night, at the party. Drank a bit, it was fun, the people seemed cool. Really a nice night.

On another note, thursday night, I went ti my grand-parents’ house in Dorion. After four years of giving no news to my family (except my grand-parents since last christmas, I finally meet them again. A huge fight happened the last time I saw them, and I ust couldn’t stand my mother, because of everything she had done to me in my life. I left that year, pissed off at my family and vowing never to speak to any of them again.

4 years later, I had the courage to go back there. My boyfriend came with me, cancelling a night at the job to come and support me. I was so nervous. Having giving no news in 4 years made me scared again that they would try to bitch me around all my choices of life and why I decided to stop talking to the family. When I arrived there, nobody asked me questions…nobody even bother to ask me a reason. They seemed to have understand, or at least accepted in a way, the fact that I had to get away from them. They seemed happy to see me again, asking me what I was doing in my life now, if I was happy, etc…the usual typical family stuff. I was happy I didn’t had to get agressive again to defend my life’s choices. I guess the family now understands that I have different dreams and life goals then them, and just accepts the fact.

It also went well with my mother. I am still pissed off about her, all the stuffs she did to me in the past..but I guess I want to give her a last chance. She’s not like my father, whom I want dead (yeah yeah, please do not tell me it is not good to wish harm to others.he just did such a wrong thing in my life I just can’t pass over it!). Anyway, she really seemed happy that I was on speaking terms with her again…I thought she was going to cry by the end of the night!

Anyway, that was pretty much it this week…in term of events. Studied..not a lot, a little tired. Work is killing me, but it is my last week before 2 weeks vacations! heh heh. can’t wait for that.

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Damn, i’m bad at blogging. Been a while I haven’t given some news to the few readers I have out there on the Web.

Well, I’m now trying to study, but it has been close toa month now that my motivation has runned away, far away from me. I can’t seem to study, and don’t ask me to look for the others personal projects I had…I seem to procrastinate a lot this winter! I hate that…

Been having some trouble with the loans and bursary. They have send me a form to sign again, so to confirm I am still having a troubled family and nobody can help pay for my tuitions. I gave them the damn paper 3 years ago, but it seems they want me again to go through all the process again: meeting a social worker (which should take…a long time…), having my papers sign, etc… I hate Loans and Bursary! arghhh, damn the bureaucracy and those bureaucrats!

On another note, I am planning some party right now. Can’t wait to those nights of fun, I am getting bored a bit here. Guess the end of winter is finally getting me on my mood. Need a sunny day…

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ohhhhh…

  

my back hurts. It’s been a week since I lifted my computer screen, and maybe I shouldn’t have lifted it. I can’t get up easily, and once I have habituated my back to being up again, I can’t make rapid movements and turns, or else I’ll scream. Hard. It really hurts, and I can’t wait the pain to go away. My doctor told me that if, by the next time I go and visit him in 3 weeks, it still hurts, then we would investigate more. But the pain…will I be able to wait 3 weeks???

On another note, I am just so busy. Work, school, homeworks, boyfriend, friends…it’s just crazy. It’s just the beginning of the week and I’m already tired. I’m scared of how the week will finish up.