<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
<MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”
<MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” – After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”
<MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: “I must go! Middle Earth needs me!” and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
<MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: “The Ring.”
<MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
<MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
<MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”
<MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, “And I did it…. MY way…!”
<MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
<MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.
<MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
<MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep” Monty Python style.
<MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”
<MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the next “Terminator” sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
<MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
<MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!” See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
<MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s Waldo?”
<MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
<MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
<MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I’m an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don’t worry. It’s done
<Zenith> So I was at work today, signing for a package from UPS..
<Zenith> When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his own.
<Zenith> And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when the fight theme music starts.
<Nigma> Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death?
<Zenith> I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex fatalities.
<Zenith> They eyed each other, and I knew something was about to happen…
<Zenith> But then the guy changed the channel to “Trading Spaces” and the fight was over.
<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen
<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!
<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
<jaga> does anyone here have a computer?
<Radz> Should I replay FF7?
<spiderbait> Nobody’s stopping you.
<Radz> That’s like another 90 hours I’d be away from you guys though. 🙁
<payne> Do it.
<spiderbait> Do it.
<xCell> Do it.
<FunFun> We’re gonna go eat at this new restaurant opened by this Japanese family tonite…any suggestions on what to order?
<tilted_halo> order bukkake…and ask for a bowl of unko…they’ll be impressed and stuff
<Rowan_Knights> dont forget some chitsu…
<tilted_halo> and when the waiter comes to your table say the following: “Atashi katai hakebune no otoko ga suki!”
<FunFun> What does that mean?
<tilted_halo> it’s a greeting…
<FunFun> Alrighty I’ll be back in a while!
<MagiTek> I know bukkake, what else did you 2 tell him ?
<Rowan_Knights> Well…I told him to order some vagina…
<tilted_halo> unko means shit and that ‘greeting’ means “I like a man with a hard dick”
<MagiTek> Bwahahaha…I wish I could be there…
<tilted_halo> We all do…
~ tiko wishes he was part of this seceret club known as “jew”
(tiko) but when the entry fee is part of your cock, I think I’ll pass